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In honor of all the heart shaped boxes of chocolate you may have recently received or giv-en—allow me to get a little syrupy on you and talk about the word Love. It’s a word, in my opinion, that is greatly overused and grossly misused in many instances. Think about it, we say we love our cars, our homes, our favorite vacation spots, sports teams, tv shows and on and on. I’m almost certain, if I were to ask each of you the definition of love, I’d get a myriad of answers. Someone might say love is a feeling or a term of endearment, another might say, it’s the goose bumps I get on the back of my neck every time he or she walks in the room, and the list could go on and on. I think we’d all agree, that saying, “I love you” is something we automatically utter to those closest to us…..especially during the month of February!

Many years ago, I learned this very simple working definition of the word love and it really turned the tables for me, LOVE— is to meet someone else’s need at your expense—with no strings attached. Yep, you foot the bill—without any expectation of reciprocity. The recipient doesn’t have to earn it, or even deserve it, nor do they ever have to know that you were the one who met the need—It’s simply an act of your good will to meet the need of someone or something. As a matter of fact, if you’re expecting any type of return on your investment—it can be considered an agreement or arrangement, but its not genuine love. Real and authentic love is not predicated on a payback from the recipient— it is not a deal. WOW—no wonder so many marriages, friendships and other relationships fail—they are being held together by an expectation of return and not by love. Hence, once the expectation is not met the deal is over. For example, a person goes into a relationship with the expectation to always feel hap-py and giddy around that certain someone—but now, the thrill is gone— guess what…and so are they! Could it be, in many of our relationships, we don’t actually want to authentically love, we rather want a deal or arrangement that leans in favor of our terms and mostly for our benefit? True love is not making deals, it’s a choice to freely give of oneself, time and re-sources for the benefit of another. Love never asks, What’s in it for me? Relationships work when both people are willing to meet the other persons need apart from the demand—this is mature love—this is real love!
Shirley Caesar, a gospel music artist, sang a song called “No Charge” and it’s about the song writer’s sister’s little boy who asked her for payment for doing his chores. The mom’s re-sponse to her son became the following lyrics of that song—”For the nine months I carried you, growing inside me, no charge...For the nights I sat up with you, doctored you, prayed for you, no charge…For the time and the tears and the cost through the years, there is no charge...For the nights filled with dread and the worries ahead, no charge... For advice and the knowledge and the cost of your college, no charge...For the toys, food and clothes and for wiping your nose, there’s no charge son...When you add it all up, the real cost of my love is...no charge.” It’s a powerful song—if you’ve never heard it, give it a listen.
If all of your relationships look more like demands, deals and written agreements—consider infusing some good old fashion real Love!
(FREE Resource: Listen to The 5 Love Languages audio book by Gary Chapman on YouTube)

FEATURED PROJECT

A Working Definition of Love
by Joyce S. Days

AREAS WE SERVICE IN THE DENVER AREA

FEATURED PROJECT

A Working Definition of Loveby Joyce S. Days

AREAS WE SERVICE IN THE DENVER AREA

A Working Definition of Love
by Joyce S. Days